Funeral functions- a necessary evil?

Tehravi function in progress

Is it just me or does anyone else also find funeral functions a little too much? 

I recently lost my grandfather and those thirteen days, the rituals were performed as per the Hindu customs. I personally believed that these rites of purity are nothing but an additional trouble to the already troubled family. 

There is a ceremony called ‘tehravi’ or ‘shantibhoj’ where the relatives and people from whole village/town are fed. This ceremony seems completely out of place seeing the situation of the family. How can you expect a bereaved family to make arrangements of feeding hundreds (sometimes even thousands) of people

Apart from that sometimes these functions become a huge financial burden on the family of deceased, specially in backward villages of UP and Bihar where ceremonies like these define your love for the person who passed away. Often villagers take loans from the local moneylender further lowering their financial condition.

Moreover, it’s even a wastage of resources because these ceremonies don’t have a restricted entry and seeing this family makes more food than required. This food is then thrown away because once when this ceremony is over you can’t feed this food to anyone else. 

Many believe that these functions give time to the family to move on, however I feel that they are nothing but a diversion because the real pain starts after these functions are over. The realisation starts after these ceremonies. This is the time when this you finally realise what just happened. This feeling finally sinks in as until now you were busy performing various rituals and then suddenly after thirteen days- BAM! You are all alone with nothing but memories of the dead person. 

Sometimes these rituals are so binding, for example, in some villages of Bihar, ‘barsi(remembrance)’ is celebrated for five consecutive years and in those five years you can’t have any marriage, house warming or any happy function to respect the deceased. The people who already lack resources are forced to follow these rituals to save their grace.

Also I would like to tell that these thirteen days you are not allowed to leave your place which is quite difficult to follow seeing the fast moving world. Everyone has offices and jobs. World does not stop. But these function want you to stop. 

These functions seemed very impractical to me. They do nothing except for increasing the pain of the family. Death is a very personal matter. Situations like this shouldn’t be guided by the society. Give family the freedom to be their own masters in such cases. Give them time to be stable. Anybody’s death is always a huge blow to the family, let them come out of it as per their convenience. 

Safar khoobsurat hai manzil se bhi – an ode to charm of train journeys ! 💕

Train as seen from pulbangash metro station, New Delhi. 

There is a certain nostalgia attached to train journeys. This blog is all about my childhood and trains but i am quite sure every 90s kid can relate to it.

I still remember as a kid when we had to go to a destination faraway, the preparation for the journey was more than the preparation for the destination. Packing started atleast two days back, neighbours came and made munchies so that we kids don’t go hungry on train. Cool cases were cleaned as they were the only source of clean water. Utensils were packed to eat ‘puri-aloo’. Oh god! These little things. Never understood the value at that time but at this moment, I realize how valuable those moments were.

Jumping from berth to berth along with other kids in the bogie, and ours mothers running behind us to feed us and secretly taking care that we don’t fall off as we do our stunts. Those little joys. The millenial kids are missing a lot. Ludos, champak, nandan all were packed so that we restrict our monkey instincts. The cards were packed for the adults. I was a little different. I kept an atlas with me and marked all the stations I crossed( trust me, it made my political geography really strong. Would really thank my parents for encouraging this idea).

Another special feature of these trains were they got late during the journey. They stopped anywhere anytime. A twenty four hour journey never took the time

These long journeys have also given birth to long time friendships. The people in bogie were not individuals but a big family keeping aside the distinctions caste, class, religion embarked on the same journey towards the same destination.

They would not realize the beauty of the blue snails running through lush green fields and people from the village running to have a view of it after all train journey was a luxury which not many could afford. They waving us and we waving them back. The yellow board which were in perfect contrast with the background, no matter what the vegetation of the place is.

Nagercoil junction, Tamil Nadu- the cleanest station i have been to. 

One of the nearest destinations from Delhi. Visit here for Sariska wildlife sanctuary and bala kila.

 

Not many people know that delhi has a local train and it has these small pretty stations which are a beauty in itself.

 

Dholpur is a hidden treasure in rajasthan. Go here for chambal gharial sanctuary. I will blog about it soon.

 

Bharatpur, rajasthan famous majorly for Keoladeo national park. Have a look at this link to know more about it –Bharatpur : A bird’s place .

Delhi – My second home. 🏡

 

Home 🏡

I will still prefer train over a plane anyday but time, this fast moving life has snatched the pleasure of travelling in  a train 😦 !

Money Money everywhere, not a money to spend !

Since the launch of new monetary policy in India, there is a continuous debate going on in my mind : is this for good or not?
When i first heard of this news, i was ecstatic “oh wow, all those people with trunks full of cash are gone. They are so GONE!” but little did i realize people with little cash have gone too. And as days are passing, i am realizing situation is really bad. Let me share few of my experiences :

1. The autowalas from my house to metro station used to charge 40 rupees but these days they are charging 100 because they are not ready to give away the little change they have. You might suggest me book a cab, pay through e-money, well okay! Thanks i can do that. But what about those, who have no idea how to use a smart phone or even those who know how to use it but have no cab facilities in their town ? The people who don’t know how to use smartphone majorly belong to poor families and then paying 100 rupees for a 40, is it really helping them ?
2. Sadly, i had to book a cab because i wasn’t ready to part with the 100 rupee note i had. The driver was extremely happy with this decision and why wouldn’t he be, the demand for the cab services has increased as they are accepting e-money. When i asked if i can pay him through paytm, he excitedly showed me his code to scan. But what about those auto drivers and rickshaw pullers who are not aware of these transactions? Yes sir, you have a good Utopian imagination, i appreciate it and i would really want that happening sometime but have you made people at ground level equipped enough to deal with situations like this ? On one hand you talk about supporting poor indians by “buying their diyas” and boycotting Chinese goods, on the other hand you are indirectly promoting companies like ola, uber and Paytm offcourse.
3. Trust me i have looked for cash in every ATM from rithala to rajiv chowk and what i get is “sorry we are out of cash” but so are we! 
4. I regularly take peanuts from a roadside vendor but last night when I went to him, and offered him 100 for peanuts worth 20, he refused. He had no change. He gave it to me on credit but he was sad that he hasn’t earned since evening, as most of them don’t have change, consequently he has not enough money to buy veggies for his family.
5. At mess, i am having food on credit but he is worried that how will he bring more ration without any cash from “mandi” (Mandis generally don’t accept cards, they NEED CASH ! CASH!!)
6. Dont you think it has resulted in promotion of elitism? I can go out and have food in a fancy restaurant but what about daily wagers ? They dont even let them in (Referring to mocambo restaurant case of kolkata). But how does that matter, they should have learnt how to sleep empty stomach by now. Right ? 😐
7. My one last question , you came up a with a very good scheme but why did you implement it when you weren’t ready ? We have been suffering from this problem of black money for so long, a month more wouldn’t have made any difference ! 500 notes are not in circulation, and 2000 notes can not be circulated as there is no one who has change for it !
   A good decision, very bad implementation.

 

Bharatpur : A bird’s place

Since my college is over and I have not much to do, we planned a vacation to Bharatpur , Rajasthan. It’s a two hour train journey from Delhi. It’s famous for it’s bird sanctuary: The Keoladeo National Park. Tourists from all over the world come and stay here.

Bharatpur Railway Station

     The railway station

1. Watch sunrise and sunset

Experience the beauty of sunset and sunrise here. Birds humming along with soothing sun rays is a moment worth living.
It has a calming effect , filling you with positivity and joy.

2. Cycling
This park ensures that you stay fit. It rents you bicycle at a very nominal cost. Hop on to your bicycle and make your own paths. ! 😎

3. Explore different trails
  

               Kharanja as they say. It’s not a pucca road , neither a kachcha one.

Bharatpur bird sanctuary or Keoladeo National Park is spread on an area of about 3000 hectares. It is a home to many ecosystems. It has wetland , grassland , dense trees , lakes . There are many species of bird which you might not find in a day. Explore the different trails to meet new birds and new animals.

The concrete road surrounded by big trees like mango, ashok , banyan which forms an arch above you.

The kachcha road and the trees which got uprooted due to heavy rains and high speed winds.

The arid ecosystem

4. Eat rajasthani cuisine
  Relish the delicious rajasthani meal. I must warn you it’s quite spicy and very salty. There food has excess salt because of high temperatures , they sweat a lot and so as to not face a salt deficiency , they put more and more and salt. One suggestion do eat the Chulhe par bani moti roti. The roti ( chapati ) is a mix of wheat flour , chana , jwar and bajra with three to four teaspoon ghee is their specialty.
Please forget your diet for all the time you stay here.

       Men making a roti on chulha
5. Bharatpur bund

    Bharatpore bund

  Bharatpur bund is a dam built by Maharaja Ram Singh in 1856-57. It is about 50 kms away from bharatpur in a village named “bund baretha”. It is a very beautiful dam which uses the concept of rainwater harvesting to supply water to all the districts of “Bharatpore Province” through efficiently build canals. Though it is dysfunct now but it’s aesthetic value is intact.

The reservoir

It is also cooler than rest of the city. It also has beautiful gardens around it maintained by the Forest Department.

Reservoir again

6. View from watch tower

Steps to climb the watch tower

When in Keoladeo National Park ,  do climb the watch tower and have a “Bird’s eye” view of the whole park. It might be hectic because of all the cycling , but worry not you have canteen nearby , you can bring snacks above there and have a good view while eating. MAKE SURE YOU DON’T LITTER.

View from watchtower

In the end , I will suggest you make a list of birds and animal you saw. I saw salamander , blue bull , spotted deer , sambar , kingfisher , drongo , stork , rabbit , owl , peacock , peahen , white dove , snake , butterflies and now I am forgetting , so you make a list to make sure that you don’t forget.
😛

Have a good day 💕

माँ 💖

You know what’s it’s like to celebrate mother’s day without your mother? EXTREMELY TERRIBLE ! 😈
This is the first mother’s day which I am celebrating away from my mother. Before that I was always with my mother on this special occasion.
I used to make her cards because that’s the only thing I can do at an average level ! My culinary skills suck so I can’t ask her a day off from kitchen.
While missing her , I was also thinking about few unlucky souls who don’t have mother.
If my mother dies , I think I will die with her. She is me, she is my life. No one supports me as she does, nobody loves me like she does. My grandmother cried on my birth but my mother was the happiest. She always wanted a girl child who she can give everything she lacked in her childhood. I was her doll and I will always be forever. Though there is a slight role reversal, now she dresses according to my choice unlike earlier where I wore no clothes without her permission.  She is my support system. She is more than a friend to me. I rarely hide things from her.
We don’t get chance to talk daily but whenever we talk , we talk like two old friends gossiping about each and every thing. Whatever I want to be , I will be for her because she gave me the childhood she always wanted to have and I will give her the old age I will want to have. Whenever I will become a mother , I will want to be like her so that my child loves her the way her child loves her.
Here in delhi I live with my Mama-Mami ( Maternal uncle and aunt ). My Mami is my second mother. She treats me like her own child. I am so lucky to have her. People are so jealous when they get to know that I have such good relatives in such a selfish world. They are always in shock when they see how affectionately she takes care of me.
My Mami’s care and treatment made me realize motherhood is a relation not just with a person who gives who birth but also with that person who takes care of you like their own child.
So I can say I am quite lucky to be blessed with two mothers : माँ और मामी । 💕

Have a good day 💕

Margarita with a straw

Today I went to watch Margarita with a straw. It’s a story about a girl affected with cerebral palsy. It shows challenges faced by disabled person living a normal life. Relations , sex , day to day routines.
In this movie , protagonist , Ms. Laila kapoor ( played by Kalki Koelchin , who as expected has acted brilliant) has cerebral palsy. She is a student of Delhi University. Here I want to tell that DU is still PWD friendly but universities in other cities like my hometown has no facility for physically disabled.
Laila is a talented music composer. She helps the band in her college with a good compose. She falls in love with the lead singer of the band. She tells him his feelings but the guy softly plays it down.
She feels embarrassed. Next day when her mother drops her to college , she slyly slips away from college but to her surprise her mother (played by Revathy , yes the one in 2 states , a very fine and composed actress) sees her. Her helplessness is quite visible on her face. She helps her daughter in her daily chores but obviously she can’t force a person to fall in love with her.
After this incident laila moves to NYC where she meets Khanum( a visually challenged but self sufficient Pakistani girl) and enters into a lesbian relationship with her. Not only this , her fling with Jared makes her realise that she is actually a bisexual.
When she returns back to India , she tells her mother that she is a Bi and khanum is not just a friend but actually her girlfriend. Her mother is shocked and is upset. She had no power to accept her child as gay like any Indian parent.
In the end , Mrs. Kapoor dies of cancer but her few last words to laila were that she returns to New York because no one here will accept the way she is. But Laila is a strong woman , she forgoes her relation with Khanum and stays with her father in India who is now all alone.
In the end , her decision to stay is quite mature than any other human being. Though I was quite saddened for laila and her father. They will be so alone. For laila her mother was not just her caretaker but also her friend and some one who was always with her.
Margarita with a straw is quite thought provoking movie. It changes our perspective towards physically disabled person. They don’t need our sympathy , they just need to live a normal life as we do.
Hope you understand and help PWD people in living a normal life. ☺

Have a good day 💕

Another award : Versatile Blogger award

Hi. Hello. How have you been ? I hope extremely happy and good 🙂
You know what? I have got some really amazing bloggers in my profile. They are very encouraging. They are the kind of person one needs in their life.
I happily announce that I got Versatile Blogger award. Yayyyyy !!! 😎
This award was given to me by blogger Shubhit Khaneja ( Blog : Life and its ingredients )
He writes very absorbing blogs.
I don’t know who starts these awards chain but whosoever it is ” Hats off brother ! Thank you so much for increasing our self esteem”

The rulebook for this award says:

•First of all,give the link and name of the blogger who nominated you, in your post.
•Secondly,give 7 facts about you.
•Lastly,nominate 15 new bloggers for the same.

First rule :
I am very sorry to say i am quite technologically challenged , so I don’t know how to tag a person in a blog. Sorry Shubhit , hope you don’t mind and if you can please give me instructions how to tag a person in a blog.
Second rule :
Seven facts about me –
1. I love clothes , clothes and clothes , No wait !!! I love shopping. 💕💕
2. I love travelling and exploring new places and getting myself clicked there. Quite photo obsessed I am.🙈
3. I hate animals. Reptiles and dogs in particular. Sorry dog lovers.
4. I am overly attached person , a thing which I want to change but it’s just not happening. 😦
5. This blog is a secret blog. No one among my friends know about it. 😎
6. I am an avid stalker. I want to be anything and everything.
7. I don’t know much about myself. Writing these seven facts took me almost 45 minutes. 😛

Third rule:
I would like to nominate –
Malviika
BookwormwithOpinions
Suraj Uday
ialeena
lifeofkristyn
sophiesophs92

And also everyone who is reading it has been nominated.
You are amazing and you deserve it. Go ahead and think about yourself ! 👏

Have a good day 💕

Alvida

I am quite nostalgic writing this post and also will be for few days because 20th is my last college day. I am happy that I will be graduating once I pass my final semester exams but also sad. Three years flew faster then expected. 😦
अलविदा :: Alvida is an Urdu word meaning goodbye.
Today my juniors came to me as cheerful as they always are and handed me this card “Alvida”.
I was invited to the farewell party of my society NSS ( National Service Scheme ). Nss is a society for social work in almost all Indian colleges. I am proud to say that I was a part of it. But I won’t be a part of it anymore. College over , society is over for me.

No more meetings , fun and frolic while working for the events. Sadly , the time has gone.

I was like ” aww” reading the caption because this year I was quite busy in other stuff rather then managing society , still they are modest enough to invite me. I think I deserve this privilege because I am branded as their “best senior ” ( forever lucky :p)
Any suggestions for the parting gifts ? How should I respond to their love ? I need help. Because responding love with love , enhances love. Always show love to people who you really love because love is all what we need.

Farewell is tomorrow and I am quite excited too ,you know why ?
Because it’s a partyyyyy 🎊 , and party means getting dressed up and dressing up is love. ❤

Net neutrality

Heard of net neutrality ? Anyway no matter if you know it or not , I will tell you what it is. Net neutrality states that telecom companies like Vodafone , airtel should treat all the data on internet equally , which means no particular website , page or app should be given a preferential treatment by the service provider.
Okay , here is a situation what might happen without net neutrality,  you got your phone recharged with rupees 100 data pack but you can’t use any app because to use any app you have to pay another sum of money, like to use WhatsApp you pay another Rs.15 , Instagram : Rs. 30 and so on and so forth. So basically , you don’t just recharge your phone with a data card but also shell out few bucks to use the apps you like.
Now again a situation arises , rich company say WhatsApp pay the service provider a hefty sum of money to provide their services free to users , you guys will automatically shift to WhatsApp ditching your favourite chat app. ( Free things are magnet 😂 ). But think of small companies or startups who can’t manage to pay such a heavy amount to the telecom service provider , they will be at loss and ultimately reach the shutdown point. Isn’t it a kind of monopoly ? Rich companies will rule the internet and small startups or companies won’t dare to step out in the market. Innovations will be killed then and there itself.
What about make in India ? Have we forgotten it ?

And now if you haven’t understood it , in simple words I will say a wait for a week from now and you will have pay something to use WordPress and read people’s blog and write your own. So hurry up sign the petition , last date being 24th April , 2015.

To sign the petition , log on to http://www.savetheinternet.in . Register there with your email id and congrats you are one of us , supporting net neutrality.
Those who haven’t signed it , HURRY UP !!!
And for those say have signed it , Hope for the best ! :)✌

Early morning surprise : Liebster Award

I woke up today to this lovely surprise from Malviika (Em’s BeautyStudy ). She had awarded me with Liebster Award. Yay.
At first I was so confused , did I really deserve this award ? Am I worth this achievement ? But when I read her post about Leibster Award , I was like ” Yes , I needed it ” . This award is given to young blogger to encourage them to keep on blogging and they are doing a good job as a blogger.
Since I have no one for now , except Malvika , I would like to give her Liebster Award. She really deserves it. An eighteen year old , doing such an amazing job.

As per the rules of Liebster award , I have to answer ten questions asked to me by the blogger who nominated me. And here are the answers for those questions.
1. Why did you start blogging ?
1. To be true , I started blogging because I don’t want to waste  much more time on stupid games and scrolling Instagram and Facebook pages. 😋
2. Share with us , what you think are essential ingredients of a good blog?
2. I think blog shouldn’t be dull and monotone. It should have excitement. So that the reader doesn’t get bored reading it and the excitement makes him waiting for the next blog.
3. One tip you want to give to all the new bloggers out there.
3. Not actually a tip , but an award : Liebster Award. You deserve it. ☺
4. One quote you live by.
4. A flower does not compete with flower next to it. It just blooms – Anonymous.
5. Name one person you really respect and why.
5. My mother. I really respect her. I want to be like her. She is too good for this world. I wish even I learn something from her and be the same person for my kids one day.
6. If you have only three things on this planet , what would they be?
6. People I love , Money and clothes ( I won’t hide , I am materialistic ! 😜 )
7. One ability or skill you want to acquire and why ?
7. The ability to control my anger. I wish I can manage my anger. Anger has made me do many irreversible things which I regret even today.
8. The one thing you never want to lose.
8. Ummm , this is a tough one. Choosing one thing is always difficult. I guess my phone. I don’t know what exactly I don’t want to lose, because I am too attached to everything I posses. No idea , sorry.
9. What do you when I am bored ?
9. I browse my old photos , edit them and upload it on Instagram. ( Too addicted , you see. )
Or colour my notebooks with crayons ( Too kiddish, you see )
Or digging graves and searching reasons to fight with my friends ( Empty mind , devil’s residence )👿
10. What is the story behind your blog name ?
10. My father named me Meghana Trivedi and my mother gave birth to me on July 12 (07/12) and so I named my blog meghanat0712.

And for Liebster award nominations , I would like to nominate anyone reading this post and also Malvika.

My questions are as follows :
1. Hello , hi how are you ?
2. What do you do ?
3. What made you choose blogging ?
4. Why is your blog named so ?
5. When did you start blogging and why ?
6. How does blogging help you ?
7. Are you scared of people judging you ? ( Reason )
8. What qualities make you attracted to a  person ?
9. Which things or feelings are given a priority ?
10. One positive and negative thing about you.

☺